- dad: you're up early
- dad: you never went to sleep did you
The really funny thing about this year is that I kept saying it was going to be the best year for me so far. I kept saying how incredibly happy I was going to be and all the accomplishments I’m going to make. So far this year has brought me up and then all of a sudden I’m dropped like a sack of potatoes. This year I have bought my ex boyfriend everything he’d want and I have nothing to show for any of it.
I’m trying to hard to keep my best smile on my face at all times and keep this heavy heart a-beating but it’s heavy and it has so much ache. It’s funny how the human body can literally hurt so much from being hurt emotionally. I’m more just confused. As to why? Was I really that bad? I still have tickets in my wallet for amusement parks I won’t go to cause I have no one. I’m alone again. I have this big bed with no one to lay next to me. That’s what hurts too. Not that you’re gone, if you could leave me for everything I did you can kick rocks.. But for all that I have done I’m alone for it. Man… I fucking need Dr. Phil after this one…
Part of me knew I guess though. Part of me was giving me a little heads up that’s something was wrong but oh how love is so blind..
Fake love. Lust.
All you were was a good time. And I looked good on your arm as the fool. I’m the fool.
This year I just want to be happy. That’s my new goal. Forget everything else I wanted. I just want my smile that you see on my face to be real. I just want the ache on my heart to fade away. I just want to be me again. I’ve wanted that for so long…
The jury has came up with a verdict for the Jodi Arias case!!! I’m so nervous to what they’re going to pick!!! Later this afternoon is when they’re going to release it. Ugh I feel sick! I really just hope Jodi gets what she deserves so Travis can finally rest in peace.